Trying to be Calm

I should be calm and collected, and not be affected, by something that isn’t even in my control. I think, think and think, over-contemplate every little thing, only for me to be left in the ruins of negativity. I try to be worth what I have, but I just can’t seem to catch, the idea…

Intoxicating Night

Starless sky, and yet, I find a certain solace, in this darkness that envelopes me. Cool breeze blowing my worries away, warmth of a decent company, making my soul summery. I feel high, I’m high on this night. This intoxication makes me feel so solemn; it almost feels like an awakening. P.S.- What did you…

Flustered and Terrified

It’s after 5 months that someone dared to speak your name in front of me. I was flustered, terrified… An outrageous revelation followed, but I guess, I just don’t care anymore. I saw your pics last evening, and I almost dropped my phone on the floor. My breaths quickened, and all that I could think…

Highs and Lows

This exhaustion is so intoxicating, making me high, when I’m actually just real down. Maybe I’m not down, maybe I’m better than I’ve ever been before. Being high or down may not be two different things. Being high does not always gives us euphoria, being down doesn’t always means that we’re stressed. Maybe the highs…

Memories Tattooed on My Mind

“You’re not with me anymore,” I remind myself every night, and the day after. I say I’m fine, and I actually am. I’m fine with this missing piece of me, I’m used to feeling so desolated. What keeps me up late at nights, and distracts me in the light of the day, are the memories…

Your Name

Your name is still my favorite. Hearing your name still brings a smile on my face and yet, it also terrifies me. Hearing your name awakens the dormant chaos that resides deep within me, which sometimes seems big enough to consume me, to destroy me, and all I can do in that moment, is to…

Amidst this Serene Silence

It’s been four months since you left. Four months of chaos amidst this serene silence. It’s been four months since I last wrote. Four months of dry spell and unwritten havoc. It’s been four months since I last expressed myself. Four months of solidarity confinement within myself. It’s been four months since I last heard…

Chaos

It’s a chaos going on inside me. I myself don’t understand the things that I do, the reason why I’m pushing everyone away. I’m scared… that I’m losing everything, everyone that I have. I’m scared I’m isolating myself, and climbing down into the darkness from which you pulled me out. I’m scared that this chaos…

Since you left

You did it again, didn’t you? Left me all alone when I needed you the most? Don’t worry, I didn’t fall apart this time. I’ve grown stronger, you know, since the day you left me in the dark, without any reason. I still have my break downs, but I’ve got better at hiding them, thanks…

A Temporary Solace

You remember that last pic we took on the last day of school? The pic in which you held my hand like you’ll never let it go? Things changed, I guess, or was it you who changed? Or was it me? What did change between us? So many questions float around in my head, keeping…