I’m not you

Please. Just stop trying to control every fucking thing in my life. Who to talk to, what to wear, when to sleep and what to feel. Please just let me be. I know you care, want only good for me, but it gets suffocating, constantly trying to mould myself into the person that you want…

Tore down my own self

“Why am I not enough?” I used to wonder, every single moment of every single day. It seemed as though, everyone would be happier, everything would be nicer, if only I wouldn’t be a part of it. Everything wrong seemed to be because of me, blame upon blame, I showered upon myself. Ruthlessly and cold…

Trying to be Calm

I should be calm and collected, and not be affected, by something that isn’t even in my control. I think, think and think, over-contemplate every little thing, only for me to be left in the ruins of negativity. I try to be worth what I have, but I just can’t seem to catch, the idea…

Intoxicating Night

Starless sky, and yet, I find a certain solace, in this darkness that envelopes me. Cool breeze blowing my worries away, warmth of a decent company, making my soul summery. I feel high, I’m high on this night. This intoxication makes me feel so solemn; it almost feels like an awakening. P.S.- What did you…

Highs and Lows

This exhaustion is so intoxicating, making me high, when I’m actually just real down. Maybe I’m not down, maybe I’m better than I’ve ever been before. Being high or down may not be two different things. Being high does not always gives us euphoria, being down doesn’t always means that we’re stressed. Maybe the highs…

The Breakdown

The day before yesterday, I had a breakdown. I thought I was better now. I thought I was over it all. Everything was going well. I was exceptionally happy and content with everything in my life. But then, it hit me like BAM! I couldn’t speak, couldn’t even comprehend what others were saying to me….

Memories Tattooed on My Mind

“You’re not with me anymore,” I remind myself every night, and the day after. I say I’m fine, and I actually am. I’m fine with this missing piece of me, I’m used to feeling so desolated. What keeps me up late at nights, and distracts me in the light of the day, are the memories…

One of Those Nights

Tonight is one of those nights when I just can’t get you out of my head. There’s only one thing that I want to ask you. How does it feel knowing that you destroyed the one thing that I had? Tonight is one of those nights when I just lie awake on my bed, and…

Amidst this Serene Silence

It’s been four months since you left. Four months of chaos amidst this serene silence. It’s been four months since I last wrote. Four months of dry spell and unwritten havoc. It’s been four months since I last expressed myself. Four months of solidarity confinement within myself. It’s been four months since I last heard…

All black, no white

You were supposed to tell me that I’m worth it. But instead, you made me question my existence. You were supposed to teach me how to believe in myself. But instead, you made me hate myself. You were supposed to show me how beautiful life can be. But instead, you made me want to end…