There are people who love me, whom I am so grateful to have,
and yet, even they can’t get through to me,
I can’t let even them in.
It’s so hot, and so dark even though the light’s on,
I’m sweating and crying and shaking, and I can’t find an escape.
I splash water on my face, over and over again,
as if to clean myself, as if to erase myself.
It’s burning hot and I’m losing myself in these flames,
keep reminding myself to breathe, in and out,
in the hope and strength, out the tears, heat and pain.
I can’t explain, can’t elaborate, can’t put it into words,
I try but I fail again and again, and I’m sick of trying and failing.
Maybe it’s a phase that I’ll get over, even though I haven’t in all these years,
maybe it’s a sickness that lies deep inside my heart that can’t be cured.
I can’t speak out the words, can’t ask you to stay,
but please stay, I don’t want to be alone, not when I’m like this.
Stay even when I tell you to go away, but please stay.
I know you don’t understand, even I don’t, but please stay.
Please hold me while I put my pieces back together,
don’t try to help, don’t try to do anything, but please, just stay.
Do you ever feel like this? Let me know what you think of this poem in the comment section below!